Saturday, September 13, 2008

Announcing Moods!

Blogger doesn't offer "moods" like some other blog sites, so I made my own, starring my all-time favorite strip "Calvin and Hobbes^."

Mood:
Photobucket
Pleased

Friday, September 12, 2008

Customer Disservice

I had a problem with my Internet access.

So I called tech support about noon yesterday. Ray tells me he sees the problem, it will be fixed, and our connection should be up again within four hours.

Four o'clock, check the connection. No dice. Call tech support again.

Tricia tells me she will expedite the order. Should be up in 30 minutes. I ask her if I'll need to reset the modem or anything. She assures me I won't, it should just come on and be fine.

It isn't. At five-thirty I call again. Another CSR (didn't catch her name) tells me she sees the calls at 12:04 and 4:10, with the expedite request. *She* says it could take four (more) hours, usually it's 48, but with an expedite it drops to 24.

Nine last night, still no connection. Call the tech support line. I get a recorded message telling me the "24/7" office is closed, to call back during normal business hours, or I can go to their website for help and information.

IF I COULD GET TO THE WEBSITE, I WOULDN'T BE HAVING TO CALL TECH SUPPORT, NOW WOULD I?

This morning, call again. Debra tells me that from what she sees, our connection was fine as of 10:25.

I tell her it certainly isn't, and I want to talk to a supervisor. She tells me she will find one, but the supervisor won't be able to do anything more than she would be. So I explain to her the repeated calls and the fact that every CSR told me a different time frame, and not a single one of them was right.

When I worked in sales, customer service, and customer retention (ick), I learned the same thing in all three jobs: Under-promise, Over-deliver. It's not that hard. If you are positive that connection will be fixed in four hours, you tell the customer it will be twelve. They won't like it. They will bitch and moan. But when they check in five hours, just because they are hopeful and impatient, and the problem is fixed *only* five hours into the time frame, they are happy. They thought they'd have to wait twice as long.

You never, ever, EVER tell the customer "30 minutes" unless you are delivering pizza.

So when I talked to the supervisor, I gave her polite what-for and suggested they give better training to their CSRs. These poor people sit in their cubes all day, having angry, frustrated people like me calling and verbally dancing on the edge of abuse. The last thing they need is shoddy training and craptacular tools making the customers angrier.

She agrees, then advises me she will connect me directly with a tech-support agent instead of just transferring me to their call queue, and suggests I reset the modem and reboot my computer while we wait so that when the tech comes on the line, we can skip that time-consuming part of the process.

"Wait a minute," I say. "I was told I wouldn't have to reset the modem."

"Well, yes you do," the supervisor informs me. "I apologize for the misinformation, but when the connection is affected like this, you always have to reset the modem from there, we can't do it from here."

So. I reset and reboot. By the time the tech comes on the line, I have my connection restored and don't need to talk to her. But I vent anyway, now completely fed up with the entire mess and as close to profanity as I've been in such a situation in a very long time.

"I appreciate you letting me know your concerns and I apologize for any inconvenience," Maria the tech tells me with the bland, rote-memorization they have all used. And then she twists the knife:

"Thank you for choosing [company] for your Internet service. We appreciate your business. Have a nice day."

Monday, September 8, 2008

Banned Books

There's an email going around that's presented as a list of books VP-hopeful Palin wanted to ban. Turns out the list (as presented) is "just" a list of books that have been banned or challenged (meaning a request was made to ban them) as recorded by the American Library Association^ (ala.org^).

Me, I read "banned" books. Some books, I agree, have no place in grade school libraries ("A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess, as an example). But others - like the Harry Potter series - you've got to be kidding me. I can understand the discomfort of a strict Christian parent concerned that the content might lure a child into "the dark arts," but let's be rational a moment. The kid is *reading* for *pleasure*. With all of the competition literacy has for a kid's attention nowadays, let them read whatever they want, as long as they are reading! If you're really worried, try reading the book yourself first, and if you *really* find it objectionable, go to the library or bookstore and find something better.

Anyway, the Annual Banned Books Week is coming up! Bloggers are often (not always) readers too, so please get the word out.

Celebrating the Freedom to Read:
September 27–October 4, 2008^

(link goes to ALA's Banned Books Week homepage)

And though I don't usually participate in memes, for the sake of books (which, I admit, I obsess over) I am offering one here.

Banned Books Meme

1. Copy the list of books into a post at your blog.
2. Bold the books you have read.
3. Italicize the books you started or plan to read.
4. *Star* the books you really liked, felt changed your life, or would recommend to others to read.
5. Comment back on this post (i.e., the post you saw the meme at) with a link to your list.
6. Find a copy of one of these banned books and enjoy!

[Note: this list is from the anti-Palin email, not the ALA archive.]

*A Clockwork Orange* by Anthony Burgess
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
*Carrie* by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
*Cujo* by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
*I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings* by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It's Okay if You Don't Love Me by Norma Klein
*James and the Giant Peach* by Roald Dahl
Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
*Little Red Riding Hood* by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
*Lord of the Flies* by William Golding
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O'Hara
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women's Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse- Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Devil's Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
*The Shining* by Stephen King
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume
*To Kill A Mockingbird* by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff [N.B.: A dictionary? WTF?!]
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth