Tuesday, August 19, 2008

About This Blog ... And Its Author

Oh, where to even begin? :)

I'm a wife, friend, daughter, sister, and mother. I write, edit, code and caption. I'm not always nice but I'm honest; I'm not always strong but I'm resilient; I'm not always focused but I have a good time anyway.

I like Wikipedia a lot - I know it isn't really an authoritative source, but it *is* an excellent starting point for learning stuff, or a great way to pass some time with a little light browsing (like appetizers for the brain). A lot of the time, I'll link to a Wikipedia article for more info on a subject; almost always, links open in new windows (or tabs, depending on your browser settings) and I'll try to remember to mark Wikipedia links with a ^ symbol, like this: Wikipedia^.

Still with me? Okay. Now it starts getting a little weird.

Curious? Read on!
I have a high IQ - well above average, have tested at "genius" level (160+) - but I am also naive and make mistakes like everybody else.

I did well in school and was a lousy student. I emulated my Dad by being an agnostic, and in high school became an atheist, probably because I went to a Catholic school for a year and a half. Now I'm more of an agnostic pantheist with a side of apathy. I am spiritual but not religious. (I think religion can be one of the worst things to happen to spirituality.)

I have a Husband, Will (sometimes called "the Hubby"); we were married in 1994. Ten years later, give or take, we became polyamorous^. I know a lot of people have misconceptions about polyamory, but that's a post in itself. For now I'll just touch on the basics: it's not polygamy^, where one person (usually the husband) has many spouses (usually wives); it isn't swinging^, and it definitely isn't cheating. It takes a lot of strength and trust in a relationship to be able to consider non-monogamy; it also isn't for everyone. So far we are taking it slow and things have been okay.

I have in the past identified myself as bi-sexual, and have had romantic and physical relationships with other women. However, I'm not entirely sure "bi" is accurate; I think in my case I just am not mentally constrained by gender when I feel an attraction to some one; to me, personality counts for so much in regard to what I like in another person, so male or female doesn't always come into it.

The Hubby and I have four kids: Rose (14), Blossom (12), THE BOY (or Boo, he's 9) and Lily (6). I can't keep actual plants alive but my "garden" of children is flourishing. We homeschool^ - or more accurately, unschool^ - all of them, with help from the Internet. Rose and Blossom recently finished a summer class at the library for computer skills; Rose spent more time helping teach the class than playing the part of a student. Their neighborhood friends envy them for it; some days I envy the other mothers for being able to get rid of their kids five days a week. But generally I enjoy their company so much I can't imagine doing anything else.

I started writing stories when I was very young; they become more ambitious in theme and scope as I grew older, but I didn't finish my first novel until 2004. Then, a lot more frustration and false starts, until November of 2007 when I wrote a novel in 28 days. I followed that with another in early 2008, and since then have been working fairly steadily on my sprawling fiction project.

I began studying the occult at 13. I was Wiccan^ briefly, but grew out of that pretty fast. By the time I met Will, I was finding my own path, and when I began joining Internet groups in 2002 I identified myself as pagan, although I was already fairly agnostic by then, because those were the groups doing what interested me: they call it magic(k), I call it energy work.

After a few interesting attempts to participate in pagan magic rituals, I realized I'm better off working solo, so as not to disrupt other people's efforts. I also discovered that other people's energy (OPE) can trigger something like an allergic reaction in me, so avoiding high concentrations is preferable to throwing myself into the mix.

This spring I joined the team at Rending the Veil and became friends with the owner/Editor in Chief, Sheta Kaey. It is without a doubt one of the best decisions I ever made - not only is the website and magazine an excellent resource, Sheta is an intelligent, admirable woman (with a damn freaky blog).

I've always been weird. Even among "freaks" I was still the odd one. In 1998 I read the absolutely incredible autobiography Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams^. And for the first time in my life, I realized that there were other people out there that experience things the same way I do, have similar hurdles and comforts, frustrations and elations. They're referred to as being "on the autistic^ spectrum."

I learned everything I could about it. And when the day came that I realized I could be diagnosed as "having Asperger's Syndrome^," I was both relieved to know I was not alone in the world, not an alien out of place, and horrified to think I was "disabled." I didn't *feel* disabled, although I acknowledged then and do now that I have a lot of hurdles in my life that many others do not, particularly in regard with interacting with other people. I became very depressed. I didn't want to be disabled. I wanted to just be me, and be able to enjoy this new understanding of myself.

Again, I turned to the Internet, and found many "Asperger Support" groups. I joined them and hoped for understanding and compassion. What I found were people complaining about "how hard Aspies are to live with" and the best ways to keep them "managed" - usually by heavy drugging, even in small children!

I was outraged. I complained right back that "neuro-typicals" (non-autistics) aren't any baskets of sunshine to live with either. They have an excess of social dependency, a fixation on superficial physical contact, and an appaling degree of xenophobia. One of these "supporters" called me a "wild Aspie" and told me to get medicated. I left the group in a huff, and the Wild Aspie was born.

I started my own group on Tribe.net, mostly as a place to sulk, in April of 2005. Slowly at first, without me inviting a single soul, the group grew. Membership has gone up and down, but has been holding steadyish around 100 for a while. One of the first members coined the phrase "self-identified" as a way to refer to oneself, and the group is a truly supportive, pleasant place for Aspies and non-Aspies alike. The ironic thing is, they get on so well I can't keep up with the messages, and rarely go there anymore.


So that's me: author, energy worker, mother, possible lunatic, linguistical artist, free thinker, mad genius.

Comments on posts are always welcome; questions about me, my experiences, or the bizarre bits of my life are fair game as well, but be sure you want the answer before you ask, because it's hard to unread something once it's been read. ;)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice post! I learned a lot about you. :)

I really like the way your cut tags just expand. I wonder how to code that.

I love you, too. :)

Ken Armstrong said...

Maybe... but I sense she loves your 'Cut Tags' more (whatever they are!)

Don't give away your cut tags on the first date anyway, that's my advice.

Comps on the Blog, content is great.

Cally the Wild Aspie said...

Ken: Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I've been enjoying your blog too.

I believe Sheta does love me and isn't just after my code ... she puts up with me on an almost daily basis! (joking - she & I are friends) The "cut tag" is termed after the famous "lj-cut" so one can shorten the immediately visible part of the post, so on a long entry you can tuck away details and just leave a lead-in or teaser on the main page.

It means a lot that a blogger of your calibre can enjoy my rants & rambles. :) Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Very nice to "meet" you. I'll be back. Most likely, often. I would welcome you at eitherThornesworld, my home blog, or The Eclectic Witch, my magickal living blog (or at both, of course, but I hate to seem pushy!). Well met!