A List: Blog Attributes That Bug Me

Given the popularity of lists, the fact that I am "dropping cards" at the moment, and my propensity to rant when things annoy me, here is a list, in no particular order, of:

Blog Attributes That Bug Me

1. Blogs that have HUGE pictures at the top that fill the entire "first page" of the browser window. I don't care about your picture, I want to see what you wrote.
2. Blogs that have bad Flash plug-ins that cause the browser to crash or freeze the whole computer.
3. Blogs that are full of other people's content. If I have to scroll past that stupid "OMG this this so cute kitten scared of RC mouse" video one more time, I am going to blow up the Internet.
4. Blogs that have horrendous typos or grammatic abuse in static modules (the titles, sidebars, etc.). I understand typos and so forth in individual entries, but spelling something wrong in your graphics or blog title is shoddy. (This of course does not apply to those blogs where English is not the natural language of the author.)
   
5. Blogs that have so many ads in the sidebars it's an eye-straining nightmare patchwork of conflicting colors, designs, and themes.
6. Blogs that have so many widgets, ads, plug-ins, etc., that they take forever to load.
7. Blogs that say "subscribe to me and I'll subscribe to you!" If I like your blog I'll subscribe to it, maybe; or I might just favorite it so I can see the layout instead of just getting the content. And I don't want to just bulk up my feed subscriber count or inflate my hit counter numbers. I want readers who actually appreciate my efforts, and you should too.
8. Blogs with the "pay me to write about you" ad buttons. I understand the "Pay per post" stuff is nice for some bloggers or whatever ... I have no problem, generally speaking, with affiliate programs and sponsored blogs. But, similar to #7, I don't want to buy your opinion. If some one is going to write about me, I want it to be honest and legit, even if the post isn't favorable. Own your opinion, don't let it be rented.
9. Blog layouts in umteen shades of pink. I hate pink. Not only is it an obnoxious color all by itself, too often the people who use it have saccharine content.
10. Blogs participating in the EC program that don't have fkg EC widgets on their blogs. That's not fair, guys. Also, EC "cards" that link to sites that are not blogs.
11. Blogs by people selling blog layout templates that have lame layouts for their own blogs. WTF is up with that?
12. Blogs filled with flowers or cats, or both. There is so much more to the Universe, and so many other symbols of peace, simplicity, comfort, humor, earthiness, etc., dare to be a little original. We don't see nearly enough turtles, platypuses, or loons. Hedgehogs are freakin' hilarious. Give the cats a a rest already.
13. Blogs that repost "lolcats" from ICanHasCheezBurger.com without mentioning where they "borrowed" the image from. Seriously, give the cats a rest.
14. Blogs that hotlink. Bandwidth theft is not only wrong, if the image gets moved, you get nothing. Host your own darn images. Photobucket is free.
15. EC "cards" that use copyrighted material for their images. Intellectual property theft is still theft.

That being said, please, if your blog includes any of the items on my list, don't leave angry comments about it or go out of your way to pick on my blog. Everyone is entitled to hir own opinion, and as an American I have the right to share mine fairly freely. If you see items on my list that could apply to your blog, and some one else comments that they agree that attribute is annoying, please, for the love of the blogosphere, consider a change.

Musings on Bloggings

I wonder if, somewhere, somehow I am doing something wrong. Since I started participating in the EC program, I've seen a lot of blogs ... I'm delighted to have found some of them: excellent content, witty and talented authors, appealing layouts.

But what really puzzles me are some of what I've taken to thinking of as the "Pink Mommy" blogs. (Not all of them are actually pink; it's more a flavor of the blog than a literal hue.)

They blog about they did this, that and the other with their brood (often 3+ kids). They went shopping, they did crafts, they visited, etc., etc., etc.

They are also active in various blogger groups and activities: card drops, blog commenting, message boards, and so on.

What I wonder is, when do these women sleep?

I have four kids and a part-time job. I have two dogs, and the Hubby has a cat; we have a house with a yard; I have extended family to keep in touch with, groceries to buy, unschooling to guide the kids through, my compulsion to write, and my own need to periodically learn new things.

And, oh, yeah, now and then I have to eat, clean myself, and sleep.

I have been attempting all week to find a schedule for myself that allows me to do all these things in a timely manner. And my conclusion is that it is impossible to achieve with only 24 hours in a day.

So apparently the Pink Mommies have found a way to sideslip time, wedging more hours into their days than the rest of us have access to. (The ugly alternative is that some of them are stretching the truth about their offline activities, and I am not one to cast such stones.)

So, if you are a Pink Mommy Blogger (henceforth herein PMB) that has happened across this post, consider this an invitation to initiate me in the arcane skill of time-wedging. I could use it. Thank you.

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Yesterday's Adventure

Brought to you in part by:

A few weeks ago I spotted an ambulance ... that in itself isn't astounding, I work at a hospital and I see them all the time. Except I'd never seen one in green and white. Then I noticed the hospital name on the side:

"Dark Knight" had some scenes filmed in Chicago, and the lot must have gotten hold of it after filming. (Yeah, okay, I'm easily amused.)

But yesterday on my way in to work, I noticed something else ...

See what I saw:

I pass a cemetery that's as old as the area's known habitation (pre-European), and there's a particular monument to a young girl:

How's this for ironic: Emma was at a funeral with her family, and died by electrocution during the service. Her father had the statue commissioned from a portrait that had been done of her shortly before her unfortunate death.

As you can see in the first photo, some one visits her grave and leaves trinkets, and recently a plastic rosary ... Well, yesterday I noticed that her stuffed animal had been knocked down. Having a touch of OCD, I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went there after work to take care of it.

Her second necklace had also been broken, so I collected up all the beads I could find and stashed them in the crook of her elbow.

After that I had some time to kill before the next bus, so I headed to the back of the cemetery where the burial mound is.

The first time I was there, I didn't even know what it was. It's about four feet high, girded by three large trees (two oaks and a something-or-other), and although there is a post for a sign the sign itself is missing.



What I found online indicates it is estimated to be over 1,000 years old, the work of an "unknown Woodland Indian Tribe," with over 300 individuals noted (during an archeological excavation by the University of Chicago in 1928). There's indication that the burial was hurried, perhaps indicating en epidemic of disease.

Flowers on the mound:

A Thank You (and a bit of a brag)

I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have subscribed to my feed (13! in just two days!) and to my visitors (70! in two days!). I sincerely appreciate your visits and interest: of all the blogs out there, mine is one you found worth reading. It really does mean a lot to me.

I'll give a shout-out to the EntreCard program: it really is a boon for bloggers. I have found some great blogs I never would have seen otherwise, and I know I'm getting visits I wouldn't have if I didn't sign up.

And mad props to Sheta Kaey of Spirit Companion, for so many reasons: she encouraged me to get motivated, told me about EntreCard, and she made the "Dare to be Different" badge and blog-movement. (She's also a fab graphic artist, as well as being a real classy broad.)

So thanks again, everyone. It's an honor to be part of all of this.

About This Blog ... And Its Author

Oh, where to even begin? :)

I'm a wife, friend, daughter, sister, and mother. I write, edit, code and caption. I'm not always nice but I'm honest; I'm not always strong but I'm resilient; I'm not always focused but I have a good time anyway.

I like Wikipedia a lot - I know it isn't really an authoritative source, but it *is* an excellent starting point for learning stuff, or a great way to pass some time with a little light browsing (like appetizers for the brain). A lot of the time, I'll link to a Wikipedia article for more info on a subject; almost always, links open in new windows (or tabs, depending on your browser settings) and I'll try to remember to mark Wikipedia links with a ^ symbol, like this: Wikipedia^.

Still with me? Okay. Now it starts getting a little weird.

Curious? Read on!

I have a high IQ - well above average, have tested at "genius" level (160+) - but I am also naive and make mistakes like everybody else.

I did well in school and was a lousy student. I emulated my Dad by being an agnostic, and in high school became an atheist, probably because I went to a Catholic school for a year and a half. Now I'm more of an agnostic pantheist with a side of apathy. I am spiritual but not religious. (I think religion can be one of the worst things to happen to spirituality.)

I have a Husband, Will (sometimes called "the Hubby"); we were married in 1994. Ten years later, give or take, we became polyamorous^. I know a lot of people have misconceptions about polyamory, but that's a post in itself. For now I'll just touch on the basics: it's not polygamy^, where one person (usually the husband) has many spouses (usually wives); it isn't swinging^, and it definitely isn't cheating. It takes a lot of strength and trust in a relationship to be able to consider non-monogamy; it also isn't for everyone. So far we are taking it slow and things have been okay.

I have in the past identified myself as bi-sexual, and have had romantic and physical relationships with other women. However, I'm not entirely sure "bi" is accurate; I think in my case I just am not mentally constrained by gender when I feel an attraction to some one; to me, personality counts for so much in regard to what I like in another person, so male or female doesn't always come into it.

The Hubby and I have four kids: Rose (14), Blossom (12), THE BOY (or Boo, he's 9) and Lily (6). I can't keep actual plants alive but my "garden" of children is flourishing. We homeschool^ - or more accurately, unschool^ - all of them, with help from the Internet. Rose and Blossom recently finished a summer class at the library for computer skills; Rose spent more time helping teach the class than playing the part of a student. Their neighborhood friends envy them for it; some days I envy the other mothers for being able to get rid of their kids five days a week. But generally I enjoy their company so much I can't imagine doing anything else.

I started writing stories when I was very young; they become more ambitious in theme and scope as I grew older, but I didn't finish my first novel until 2004. Then, a lot more frustration and false starts, until November of 2007 when I wrote a novel in 28 days. I followed that with another in early 2008, and since then have been working fairly steadily on my sprawling fiction project.

I began studying the occult at 13. I was Wiccan^ briefly, but grew out of that pretty fast. By the time I met Will, I was finding my own path, and when I began joining Internet groups in 2002 I identified myself as pagan, although I was already fairly agnostic by then, because those were the groups doing what interested me: they call it magic(k), I call it energy work.

After a few interesting attempts to participate in pagan magic rituals, I realized I'm better off working solo, so as not to disrupt other people's efforts. I also discovered that other people's energy (OPE) can trigger something like an allergic reaction in me, so avoiding high concentrations is preferable to throwing myself into the mix.

This spring I joined the team at Rending the Veil and became friends with the owner/Editor in Chief, Sheta Kaey. It is without a doubt one of the best decisions I ever made - not only is the website and magazine an excellent resource, Sheta is an intelligent, admirable woman (with a damn freaky blog).

I've always been weird. Even among "freaks" I was still the odd one. In 1998 I read the absolutely incredible autobiography Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams^. And for the first time in my life, I realized that there were other people out there that experience things the same way I do, have similar hurdles and comforts, frustrations and elations. They're referred to as being "on the autistic^ spectrum."

I learned everything I could about it. And when the day came that I realized I could be diagnosed as "having Asperger's Syndrome^," I was both relieved to know I was not alone in the world, not an alien out of place, and horrified to think I was "disabled." I didn't *feel* disabled, although I acknowledged then and do now that I have a lot of hurdles in my life that many others do not, particularly in regard with interacting with other people. I became very depressed. I didn't want to be disabled. I wanted to just be me, and be able to enjoy this new understanding of myself.

Again, I turned to the Internet, and found many "Asperger Support" groups. I joined them and hoped for understanding and compassion. What I found were people complaining about "how hard Aspies are to live with" and the best ways to keep them "managed" - usually by heavy drugging, even in small children!

I was outraged. I complained right back that "neuro-typicals" (non-autistics) aren't any baskets of sunshine to live with either. They have an excess of social dependency, a fixation on superficial physical contact, and an appaling degree of xenophobia. One of these "supporters" called me a "wild Aspie" and told me to get medicated. I left the group in a huff, and the Wild Aspie was born.

I started my own group on Tribe.net, mostly as a place to sulk, in April of 2005. Slowly at first, without me inviting a single soul, the group grew. Membership has gone up and down, but has been holding steadyish around 100 for a while. One of the first members coined the phrase "self-identified" as a way to refer to oneself, and the group is a truly supportive, pleasant place for Aspies and non-Aspies alike. The ironic thing is, they get on so well I can't keep up with the messages, and rarely go there anymore.

So that's me: author, energy worker, mother, possible lunatic, linguistical artist, free thinker, mad genius.

Comments on posts are always welcome; questions about me, my experiences, or the bizarre bits of my life are fair game as well, but be sure you want the answer before you ask, because it's hard to unread something once it's been read. ;)

There are worse things to hear on a Monday morning ...

As I was walking down the street from bus stop to office on my way in to work, this guy drives past in the opposite direction, and calls out the window, "Nice tits."

Well, okay.

He must have been really looking, since I'm not wearing a particularly flattering shirt as far as enhancing the bustline goes.

But I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks, anonymous gawker.

Volcanoes and Coffee

I was telling Rose, my oldest daughter, about the Toba Event

(Toba was a volcano in Sumatra that erupted about 73,000 BCE, with an explosion far greater than anything seen since. It produced a volcanic winter - ash and gas blocking the sun - that lasted six years. This caused a general cooling that plunged the planet into an ice age)

. I told her about the cycles of warming and cooling the planet has seen just in the last 75,000 years (a blink of global history). Then I concluded that this cycle will continue, and that sooner or later, another volcano, comet, or other dramatic event will once again alter the planet's climatic cycles.

"But life will continue," I reassured her. "Life will once again crawl out of the sludge, blink in the weak sunlight, straighten its spine, find its thumbs, and proclaim to the universe:

I'm gonna put a Starbucks right there.

Site Tweaks & Additions

This was to be my day of rest, but apparently I didn't know what I was talking about.

But that's okay! Good stuff happened.

A tale of tweaks

I learned HTML and CSS by taking webpages apart and then trying to put them back together. "Oops, I guess that code was important" was a common utterance. :)

Javascript was too much for me though. I'm not a designer, just a hobbyist, and there seemed to be no reason to work so hard on a webpage.

But today I realized I really, really wanted a three-column layout for this blog. I really like the template design, though, and it even came "out of the box" in a color scheme that pleased me. I didn't want to have to start over. I wanted to just add a column.

Easier wanted than done. But I did it! All by myself, even. Usually when I have computer trouble of any kind, I'll e-tap an online friend who's a whiz with this stuff and cry on his shoulder. Then he tells me how to fix it and everyone is happy. But today I wad determined to puzzle out the arcane coding myself and get that column in.

The end result isn't as polished as what I started with, naturally, but I am happy with it for now. After some more practice I'll make it sparkle.

So in my new column (on the left, there) you'll see some buttons and badges and things. Having considered some off-hand advice from my good friend Sheta, I decided to go ahead and get a bit more serious about blogging.

More about those programs ...

Sheta is participating in Entrecard, and had made up some nifty badges - the "Dare to be Different" one - so I decided to join the fun. It's free and easy to sign up, and you get exposed to a lot of neat blogs, as well as getting exposure for your own.

Blogged.com is a rating site. My personal blog merited an 8.3, Great, and I'd really like to see this one inch higher than a 6.4. So do me a solid and vote there, 'kay?

I also signed up for Feedburner, along with their email-update service. That's another cool, free webtool. Who doesn't like free? Not only will they "burn" your blog feed, they make it easy to make sure the webcrawlers find it and keep it current. They also provided the active headline generator over in the right sidebar. Tech toys are so much fun. :)

As I sign up at more places, there will be more buttons, badges, widgets and updates.

It will be an interesting journey.